The one and only all consuming high school crush.
There was more than one but this was the guy that I “loved” from Grade 9 to Grade 12 I would say. I still like to think there is some parallel universe where him and I are together and have babies and are ridiculously happy.
I didn’t really know him that well and we never really hung out outside of school, but I was just so convinced that he was perfect. It’s all kind of silly when I look back on it but crushes often are. I remember how intense all those feelings were. I remember getting dressed every morning thinking about how to look best in case I saw him. I would think of things to say to him when I did see him in the future. And I am pretty sure, in some buried notebook, in the back pages I may have even practiced writing my first name beside his last name. I will admit I just giggled like a little school girl thinking about that.
And although we never shared more than a hug I still smile when I think of him. Or the idea of him I suppose.
I thought of him this week because I thought of this song and I remember thinking about him when I first heard it. My heart smiles thinking back on that time. Oh to be young again :)
and you love me, you just don’t know it yet