I am starting to really struggle to come up with topics for these posts. It seems that I have covered a lot of my main memories from my high school years and I am running on empty, which seems really crazy because this is only the 60th post. You would think that 5.5 years of high school (you have to remember there was still OAC when I went AND I did a half year victory lap) would be able to yield more than 59 recollections. There are some things that I have decided not to write about because they are either too personal or too embarrassing but still, I am kind of disappointed in my brain.
I was thinking a lot about this during the week and I think that part of the reason I have a hard time coming up with ideas is because I almost feel like I am not remembering my own life, but rather trying to peer into someone else’s past. I have changed so much as a person that the high school me seems so detached and foreign. I often wonder what the high school me would think of the person I have become. I think in some ways she would be proud, but in others maybe disappointed. That is not to say that I am not happy with my progress, but I think that a teenager has quite different views about what an “adult” version of themselves will be like. I wonder if I am as cool as I was hoping I would be when I grew up? It is a funny thing to think about, but really, I know the teen me was hoping I would be all sorts of awesome (however I defined it back then) by the time I was almost thirty. I wonder if I would pass her test.
Anyway, I am going to really put an effort in to come up with some more posts for the upcoming weeks, but I also have to really think about whether I will continue to do these flashbacks. It seems like a lot of people enjoy them (or so they tell me) so I want to keep them going, but we’ll see what I can find and dust off in the ol’ memory bank over the next week.