break your heart

On Monday morning, early on Monday morning, I was making my way to the blood work lab in St. Michael’s hospital in down town TO.  I have an appointment with my rheumatologist on Thursday which means…blood work…what else?

I know that there are people out there who need to get blood work done more frequently than I, but I was not thinking that way.  I was mad.  I was irritated.  It was early.  It was cold.  I was recovering from a terrible virus and the last thing I wanted was yet another f-ing needle stuck in my vein.  It was the second time in less than a week that I was getting blood taken and I was not in the mood.  First of all, it just plain hurts.  Second of all, it always feels like a weird invasion of my body.  And lastly, that stupid tape they put over the cotton ball to block the blood upon removal of the needle is a total bitch to pull off.  Painful part, part two.

Upon my entry into the hospital I saw two women handing out small pieces of blue paper.  “Great”, I thought, “some stupid campaign about something stupid.”  That’s how one tends to think when one is not happy.  I took the blue paper out of courtesy, shoved it in my bag and made my way upstairs.  Even though I was the fifth person in line, I still had to wait for over an hour to get blood drawn.  And it seemed, on this particular day, that the stupid f-ing tape was way stickier than ever.  Record breaking arm hair pullage I would say.

Last night (Wednesday) I was looking for something in my bag and happened across that stupid little blue piece of paper.  They were handing them out in celebration of Spiritual Care Awareness Week, 2011.  On one side was a number for the Spiritual Care Department in the hospital, as well as the location of the Meditation Room and Chapel in St. Mike’s.  On the other side, this great quote (you should all know I am a quote-aholic by now).

If you’re really listening, if you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly.  In fact, your heart is made to break, its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold evermore wonder.  – Andrew Harvey

Well my selfish and negative attitude on the day I received this piece of paper makes me feel like a jackass in retrospect.  Sometimes we can be so rude and so negative and for no reason.  We have it really really good.  I was acting like a spoiled child.  Sure getting blood work done all the time sucks, but you know what doesn’t suck?  Free health care.  Benefits that cover my medication.  Free MRIs (the cost of the ones I had done this year is about $4000).  Overall pretty good health.  That last one, definitely does not suck one bit.  Suck it up buttercup and break your heart once in a while.

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One thought on “break your heart

  1. Pingback: 2011 wrap up (July-December) | The Nouveau Shanty

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