So I guess this is growing up…

Aaaaaaaand I may have just used a line from a Blink-182 song for the title.  My apologies.

Over the weekend I was taking to my friend about the likelihood (or lack thereof) of me leaving Toronto anytime soon and I surprised myself by citing my budding career as one of the reasons it would be silly for me to move anywhere else.  Me!  The girl that feels about 16 most of the time, even though she is approaching 30, is developing a career.  Let me tell you folks, it was a total Wonder Years moment (or for those who know me well a Simpsons-does-Wonder-Years moment – “Me?!  Get a job?!”).  My 9-5 came to me through mostly luck.  I happened to be a friend of an acquaintance that worked for the company when I needed a job, any job.  I found out a few months after I got hired that my boss at the time had the impression that I knew my contact much better than I did…oops! Either way it worked out, and now, two years later, I was just pretty significantly promoted.  And not to bore you with the details, but there was some restructuring that occurred at the end of 2010 that made me feel like my upward progression within the company, should I want it, became much more possible.

However, until my conversation this weekend I did not think much of this.  This job was not what I went to school for.  In fact, when I first got hired I was very confused about what my actual job would entail.  I never really thought that this would potentially be my employer for a very long time, but it now looks like this is a very good possibility and I am not really sure how I feel about it.

On the one hand I have security, and it is exactly the kind of job, or rather the company one would want to work for, if one wanted to say get married and buy a house and have a family.  I am still kind of on the fence about all that.  On the other hand there is that part of me that feels like I am selling out to some corporate machine.  It seems like the longer I stay here the less likely it becomes that I will go out there and find my true passion in life, but seeing as I am not even sure where to start looking for it, paying the bills in the meantime can’t be a bad thing I suppose.

I feel like I have come to some sort of cross roads here people.  And not like, “I knew they were coming and here they are”, but more like I was looking every which way except ahead of me and when I happened to look in that direction, here it was, the proverbial fork in the road.  I am not implying that I only have the two choices here; either spend all my money on pantsuits and start climbing, or give it all up to live like a hobo and work on my spirit or something.  However, I do feel like I need to fully assess the situation and make sure that the direction I am heading in, and will be dedicating a significant amount of time to, is one that I am willing to explore and consider.  And it seems like this time around playing the “well I have student debt so I can’t afford to NOT keep this job” just won’t be enough.

Time to put on my drinking thinking cap…

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One thought on “So I guess this is growing up…

  1. Pingback: 2011 wrap up (Jan-June) | The Nouveau Shanty

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