SOP

To say that one had a weird dream is pretty redundant, right?  Weird, is pretty much the standard operating procedure of dreams.  It is very unlikely that you would have a dream about, say, doing taxes.  Or rather, it is pretty unlikely that you would have a dream about doing your taxes that didn’t go off the rails at some point and had you crawling through a labyrinth of underground caves trying to track down receipts that you could claim for all of those troll tolls you had to pay over the course of the previous fiscal year.  Trust me folks, just let them go and cut your losses.  Not only are trolls terrible at record-keeping, their bureaucratic red tape is an absolute nightmare.

Anyway, so we have established that dreams are weird, but I still have to share one that I had last week because it seemed to me even more bizzaro than usual.  I was doing a tour of Algonquin park, your typical canoe trip, with a friend of mine from university.  Sounds pretty normal so far.  Except that our vessel of choice was a luxurious sail boat and our other companion was a shark.  Not a shark that swam in the water beside the boat, but a shark that hung out on deck, drinking beer, walking around on it’s tail…the whole bit.

So we are trekking along on our trip when we hit shallow water.  I suppose this would be the point where one would normally get out of their canoe and portage, but, having a sail boat really complicates matters.  The sail boat tips over and we all go flying off the side.  I come to and see that the shark is lying there, seemingly dead.  Of course this is because he needs water to live, which is a fact my unconscious deemed unimportant during the “partying it up on the deck of the boat” sequences prior in the dream.  I crawl over to the shark, he’s not breathing.  “How do you do CPR on a shark?” I wonder.  I start to punch the shark in the chest.

Next scene, a few meters from where the tipped sailboat lies, my university friend and I are sitting on a dock of the next lake.  The shark is nowhere to be seen.  We are just chatting, dangling our feet in the water, when I decide that this would be a good time for a swim.  I get in the lake and swim out from the dock.  This lake is deep and it is freaking me out.  I can’t see the bottom, I can’t touch the bottom, and I am starting to get the heebie jeebies.  I decide to swim back to the dock and get out.  As I am climbing out I see a body floating in the water under the dock.  Naturally, I use it as a step ladder to hoist myself out of the water at which point I inform my friend, who has been sitting on the dock the whole time, that there is a dead body right under him.  We watch the body as it starts to float further out to the lake and starts rising above water.  Suddenly the body looks very familiar.  The head emerges and surprise! Not only is the body not that of a dead person, but it is just a girl who used to work with me playing a prank on us!  No biggie.  Obviously she too was in the depths of Algonquin Park and had seen the sail boat emerging, so decided to hide under water to freak us out.  I guess.

Then I wake up and cuddle with my cat for comfort for the rest of the night.

The sailboat part was kind of like this…sorry…had to

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One thought on “SOP

  1. Pingback: 2011 wrap up (Jan-June) | The Nouveau Shanty

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